I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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