are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We smell like vodka and hangover
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