they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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