i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
