But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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