Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
