By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
