I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
