So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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