I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
