how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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