Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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