How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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