1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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