May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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