you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize