She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
