you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
