hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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