marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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