I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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