Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
