i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You are a genius and a whore.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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