trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
