Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
