Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
