I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
