you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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