This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
