DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
