i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
