Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
