So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
