Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
