Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
