oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
