his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
