i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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