I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
