He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
