I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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