I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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