party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
