He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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