Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
