I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
