I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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