Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
