I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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