How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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