He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
