Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
