Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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