oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
