she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
