My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
