I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
