I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
