I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize