it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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