we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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