you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
