I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my liver is dry heaving
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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