I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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