I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
