Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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