as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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