he thought i was a dude.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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