I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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